I think I might be past the halfway mark on this latest chapter.
What I’ve realized, very recently, is that the farther I get into the end of the story, the more it brings the beginning into focus. And it’s not just with the book…it’s with the paragraphs, and with the chapters…
Every new scene I write, I glance backward, and the shit is just in auto-focus…Everything that doesn’t belong, I can see. Like lint on film. I can even hear the characters better; it makes the first draft look like I was listening to people with a cup through a wall. Now their motives are clearer. Transcriptions of speech have grown and shrunk.
I have known for awhile now, that the first few chapters of this book don’t work. And how did I know? because the more I wrote, the more the beginning seemed rough and unclear. It was as f I was guessing at what was happening, with second hand knowledge, or (God forbid) as if I was making it all up.
But now. just–fucking–today, I saw the beginning clearly. And now I know what to do when start that second draft.
Sometime in the next 3,000 years.